Mediation

CO-PARENTING MEDIATION: A Joint Cry for Help

In a time when joint custody is the presumption and courts struggle to provide generous and expanded access to children for divorcing parents, there is a growing need for a forum where parents who might not be able to communicate with each other across the breakfast table can learn to cope with each other and with their children as the family takes on new definition during and after the divorce process. While collaborative law proponents, competent mediators, and seasoned lawyers make extraordinary efforts to guide divorcing parents through the legal process without destroying the fabric of the family, more often than not, parents are left with a box full of discovery documents, stale financial affidavits, and complex visitation agreements, with little or no sense of how to appropriately maneuver through the real jungle of exchanges at the little league fields, meshing dual career challenges and business travel demands with Wednesday night dinner visits, and handling ordinary crises and behavior issues that once seemed so much simpler within the context of a nuclear family setting.

Although those of us who deal with divorce and family law issues in the legal arena can become jaded and often are hard-pressed to understand why Joe and Mary can't work out their parenting issues without calling their attorneys or racing back to the courthouse for contempt claims, the fact remains that there are many who need practical help learning to deal with their fragmented family and with the everyday issues that arise, sometimes as a direct consequence of divorce and, other times, merely as a natural result of "growing pains".

In the Atlanta area, a few qualified therapists have risen to the task of helping to navigate parenting relationships by offering "co-parenting coordination" in connection with their psychological services. But the need for people interested and experienced in dealing with families in conflict far exceeds the number of professionals in the community who are willing to spend time sitting with angry, frustrated parents and kids who, in the aftermath of the judge's verdict, are barely speaking and are so crippled that they cannot decide who attends the child's first communion, whether the child signs on for Ritalin or the latest fad diet, what to do if the teenager refuses to go with dad on Friday nights, how to deal with the new Mrs. X at the football banquet.

To address these concerns, Donna Crosby Sloan of the law firm of Blackburn, Sloan & Adair, LLC is further expanding her law practice to include an area of focus which will be referred to as "Co-Parenting Mediation". As a veteran trial attorney and mediator certified by the American Arbitration Association, Donna is keenly aware of the problems divorcing parties face. Donna brings to the arena of conflict resolution and coordination of workable parenting relationships, her own personal experience as a single mother, having raised four sons, and having dealt with behavioral issues with special needs children when she worked as a special education teacher. She has served as a guardian ad litem in the metro counties and has effectively dealt with parent alienation themes, sexual and emotional abuse, addictions, and attention deficit disorders. Donna travels with a team of therapists to Bosnia to work with children who are survivors of war and abuse. Additionally she continues to be involved with Hispanic youth and speaks and reads Spanish. As a member of The Tabernacle International Church who values the significance of spirituality, she is sensitive to the issues that can arise between divorcing parents and come from diverse religious backgrounds.

Donna offers a "team" approach to Co-Parenting Mediation. If needed, more than one of these professionals will be scheduled to deal with the family in caucuses and in joint sessions.

Co-parenting Mediation does not replace the divorcing party's attorney, the court mediator, the pastor, or the family therapist, but will allow all of these professionals to expand the options for creating success for parents and troubled children. Co-Parenting Mediators will not testify in court or report to judicial authorities, unless all parties and attorneys provide written consent. The Co-Parenting Mediator can provide a vital resource to parents who need a facilitator rather than a watchdog as they move into their future with a divorce order in one hand and a child who needs to be a part of the healing process in the other.

At Blackburn, Sloan & Adair, LLC we welcome your referrals and your input as we join in an important collaborative effort to help divorcing families deal with change in ways that really work.

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